relationships are ratios: the surprising secret behind inspiring relationships

Most people think the key to great relationships is…
Say it with me:
Communication.

It’s not.

The real key is ratios.

There’s an invisible architecture holding your relationships together.

When something feels “off,” chances are a ratio is out of balance.

Here are the main ones that determine whether your relationship thrives or slowly dies:

🎾Fun to Feedback

When we first start dating someone, it’s fun, fun, fun.
Later (especially when you move in together),

it becomes feedback, feedback, feedback.

The art is learning to restore a healthy balance between the two.

When there’s enough fun in the relationship, it’s easy to receive feedback.
When there’s not, even small suggestions can feel like criticism.

This goes all the way back to childhood

and how important fun is in human development.

🎾Play to Pressure

Fun-to-feedback happens in the daily rhythm of a relationship.

Play-to-pressure shows up during big transitions… like planning a wedding, starting a family, or building a business together.

What starts as lighthearted play can quickly turn into overwhelming pressure.
Balancing both is what keeps love resilient.

🎾Feminine to Masculine Energy

Both men and women have feminine and masculine energies. It’s about knowing how much to use and when.

The skill is learning to consciously switch between the two.

As a woman, it’s perfectly okay to step into your masculine energy when needed,

you’re not trying to eliminate it.

But if you want polarity with a masculine partner,

you need access to your feminine traits:

receptivity, flow, emotional expression, intuition, and presence.

Most women don’t realize they’re stuck in one mode

and they wonder why the spark is gone.

Their energy ratio is quietly killing attraction.

The same goes for men.

And the polarity they bring to the table.

🎾Positive to Negative Interactions

Relationship researchers John and Julie Gottman discovered the “magic ratio” of 5:1
Five positive interactions for every one negative.

If you’re below that, your relationship is already deteriorating.

This ratio is one of the cornerstones of lasting love.

🎾Support to Challenge

Too much support and we stagnate.
Too much challenge and we shut down.

Thriving relationships have a dynamic balance of both.
When this ratio is off, you either feel like roommates or adversaries.

🎾So what?

Most people never examine these ratios.
They relate on autopilot, repeating patterns they learned in childhood.

That’s why I created the Relating Intelligence Quiz (RQ).

Your RQ measures your ability to build healthy, authentic, and resilient connections… with yourself, your loved ones, and the world around you.

It’s a blend of emotional awareness, communication skills, honesty, boundaries, and repair capacity.
Think of it as EQ’s deeper, more relationship-focused cousin.

🎾 Click here to take the 3-minute quiz and discover your Relating Intelligence score.

Best wishes,

Anna Shilina

Founder of the Relating Academy

Creator of Relating Intelligence (TM)